I’m a digital hoarder. Right now my laptop has thousands of hours of unplayed games on it, hundreds of archived podcasts and as many unread articles and eBooks.

With the amount of tutorials and resources stored and accessible on there, a motivated person could learnt how to do anything they wanted by now. I’ve barely done anything. I’ve had free access to so much knowledge and ignored almost all of it.

There are uses, like being able to find resources quickly for other people, and point them in the right direction. But that is at least partly an excuse- mostly, I have all these resources because of the idealised images they feed.

“If I was the person who could do (x+y), I would feel happier and more confident. If I was the person who could create, I would have something valuable to say. Simply, I’d be better.”

I know that’s unhealthy, and if one of my friends said that to me I’d be telling them not to worry and encouraging them to do what they wanted to, not what they felt they had to do. So why can’t I do this for myself?